Five Steps For the Perfect First Dance

Updated: Oct 17

Who doesn't love a first dance? It is seriously the sweetest thing ever to witness, and it doesn't matter if the couple sways or busts a move.

But, how do you decide? What song perfectly sums up your relationship? Is the first dance really that important that you need to get a choreographer and learn a dance, or spend hours on youtube learning to waltz? How do you go from clueless to dancing queen all while wedding planning?

Step 1: Have a conversation

Talk to your significant other and figure out what you are going for. Do you want to dance slowly and sway back and forth? Do you want to take on the task of learning some new dance moves? Do you want to full on choreograph a new dance?

It wont be much fun going to dance lessons alone,

so make sure your partner is on the same page as you.

Whatever you are thinking, I suggest talking about all of the options. I myself thought we would FOR SURE be the swaying couple, but Alexander was set on shocking the crowd with a choreographed dance. I was SO happy we discussed this, because I was quick to jump on board and we were so excited about doing something special! Go into this conversation with an opened mind, and come to an agreement before moving on!

Step 2: Find the Perfect Song

Not just the song from Spotify's "Top Hits" or that new country track that you cant help but sing along too. Spend some time on this and find a song that you really connect to. Listen to artists you like, and similar artists to them. Start discovering some new music on your commute, and who knows you might stumble upon gold.

And if you do, prepare your heart for when your fiance says they hate it. Yep, this happened several times- but keep at it! You'll find something perfect I promise!

Alexander was adamant about having a unique song, so for me it took SEVERAL WEEKS/DAYS/HOURS before I found our wedding song. I was constantly driving to a new love song playlist (and frequently crying my eyes out).

This step could be super easy if you already have a "song", then there it is.. the perfect song! Celebrate the fact you don't have to spend so much time on step #2!

Step 3: Plan time to Practice (or go to lessons)

I'm talking about putting it in your calendar or on your to do list. You might think that you have all the time in the world to practice because the wedding is months or even years away.. but time flies when you're having fun!

The last thing you want is to be 2 months from the wedding, rushing to find a choreographer, or teacher to help you.. and then have to find the one free hour your have between all the other wedding plans.

Start early, make a plan to go to your first lesson. Decide how many will be needed (approximately) before the big day and SCHEDULE IT! Your brain will thank you for not having to do this in the midst of chaos.

Step 4: BUST A MOVE!

I mean PRACTICE: This goes for EVERYONE! Even the swayers!

You have no idea what its like to stand up in front of 100-200-or even 300 people and dance to a song. (unless you've done it, and if you have then I'm sure this is already in your plans.

If you're having a dance choreographed, then practice a lot.

If you're learning a new dance like the waltz, practice a lot.

If you are swaying back a forth, practice a bit.

Make sure you practice a dip, a turn, or how fast you want to sway!

& most of all, make sure you practice in your shoes, and a LONG DRESS!

I practiced in my bridal shower dress so that both Alexander and I could get the feel of having a lot of fabric bunched around my feet. He learned how to take small steps to avoid stepping on my dress, and I learned how to do the whole stinkin dance in a long dress (and boy oh boy is it different). My wedding shoes also were more slippery then normal so I had to figure that out. While it helped my turns, it made doing some moves totally different! Alexander also practiced in his dress shoes, and we realized he was taller which changed up our dance just a bit.

While you could just 'go for it' on your wedding day, and you will still be wonderful. It helps a bunch to practice before hand so that you feel comfortable and ready for your big debut as a couple!

(Extra piece of advice for those with a choreographed dance: Make sure when you are practicing that you always go from start to end. As much as you want to start over every time you mess up- you cant on your big day. We are proof of that! We messed up and had to play it off and keep going without letting the mess up wreck us!!!)

Step 5: Enjoy

You only get one first dance and you only get one wedding.

Enjoy the time you have practicing with your person. Laugh at your mistakes, cheer for your successes and goof off. This should be fun, and if it isn't then I would say just nix the idea completely because it's about YOU and should be FUN!

On your big day, focus on your significant other. Soak up the time you have just the two of you, and ignore the hundreds of eyes watching your every move. Hug, kiss, smile, and love on each other. Let the nerves become butterflies, live in the moment, and bust a move!


Always, Jess


L E T ' S B E F R I E N D S !

W E B S I T E | T I K T O K | I N S T A G R A M | Y O U T U B E

Hi Friends! I'm Jessica Haizman. I'm 28 years old and married to my best friend. We spend 98% of our time together, and no we don't spend it all cleaning and organizing. I have a daughter, Adalynn and an Australian Shepherd, Bali and they get the majority of my attention.

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