JHP Episode 3: How to get others on board with your Expectations

Updated: Nov 1, 2021

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How did I get my husband on board with my goals of a clean home, healthy life, minimalistic lifestyle and more?


& in all honesty how the hell did he get me on board with communication?


 

Alexander (My husband) grew up in a home that communicated openly about EVERYTHING, which was quite the opposite from the silent treatments I was accustomed to. So when our worlds collided.. we had a bunch to figure out. It wasn't any easy ride, I cried... a lot. But looking back now, I'm so incredibly proud of myself and how far I've come communication wise (I mean look at me.. I'm hosting a podcast about it!). But better yet, Alexander is also improving on his end which is so cool to witness.


I'm not saying we are perfect, we are FAR FROM IT. Honestly, as I sit down to write this article I had to walk back in to my living room and apologize for my salty attitude.. but the main thing is we are finally on the same team and I'm no longer defending my position. A lot of breathing when I'm feeling overwhelmed, reminding myself that he loves me, and trying to not let a small mishap ruin my entire day.. which is hard y'all!


To make things easy I broke down the steps below for you to follow... but first to really think about. Where do you and your other person succeed in these steps? Where does improvement need to be made? Are you on the same page with your goals and values?


It's hard to move forward when you don't know where you're going.


Here is a breakdown on how to create a habit (together):

  1. Sit down and have a conversation about YOUR GOALS. Figure out a way that these can align with BOTH OF YOUR VALUES. If you want a cleaner house, how can you make this a desirable goal for your significant other as well?

  2. Write down your goals so that you can truly put the into action. We use a life goal chart that I have up on my website and it’s been life changing.

  3. Break down that BIG GOAL into TINY HABITS that you can work on one at a time.

  4. Hold each other accountable until this becomes a HABIT (*side note, what’s a habit?)

  5. Be patient and respectful: Do you want to work on a habit when your other person is constantly picking at you for your failures? No! So make sure you are respectful, encouraging, and loving!


Habits that WE have created:



- Alexander picks up his dirty socks

- Jessica spends more time with other people (friends & family) because this is important for Alexanders mental health.

- Alexander empties the dishwasher, sorts laundry, and makes the bed

- Jessica unplugs from her phone an hour before bed.

- We both workout together everyday.

- We both struggle at making a nighttime routine.

- We both are working on our sex life.


We aren't perfect. I'm not saying this process is easy and that if you know it you'll succeed. But I am saying that this is the EXACT process that we used to create the habits, respect, and communication that we have and we are so proud of ourselves.


Always, Jess

 

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